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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

choose an identity

Who are you?

Choose to comment on my blog and you'll get to "choose an identity." If only it were that easy. Who do I want to be today? Do I want to be wonder woman like my good friend Lee? A super scrapper like Alissa? A voracious reader and witty writer like Shelah? A great story teller like Emily? Just because I want those things in my identity doesn't make it happen. I don't choose all of my identity. My identity has chosen me.

We move. A lot. I look forward to the chance to have a new group of people to get to know. It's a new start. I have this grand idea of who I am and am not going to be. I'm going to be witty! I'm going to be funny! I'm going to be confident! I'm going to be interesting! I'm not going to be a loud mouth! I'm not going to bare my entire life to everyone! It never works. That's not my identity. I'm not that funny, I'm not that witty, and I'm really not that interesting. I am a loud mouth and with that loud mouth I tend to be an open book and give way too much information. I do make friends easily, but I'm not very confident in those friendships because who knows what they are thinking? Maybe they just pretend to like me out of pure pity. See, no confidence.

Some parts of my identity just happened to me. I have Lupus. I didn't choose to have Lupus. I was determined not to let it be a part of my identity. It is. Hello, I'm Alicia and I have Lupus. I'm tired a lot, I hurt a lot, my brain is a bit foggy, and my cocktail of medications makes me moody and impatient (well, more so). I'm so many more things than a sick Lupus patient. It's part of my identity, but it's not who I am.

I am a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Child, Woman, Sister, and Friend. I love my God and my family and will fight for and defend them. I am of daughter of God and of great worth. That is my identity and I choose that.

7 comments:

Rachelle said...

Very good post. I think we all wonder who we are sometimes. What are we besides a mother or a wife? I identify myself as a lot of things - teacher, infertile, reader, writer. But does that really define who I am? Thank you for making me think a little bit more about that today.

Linsey said...

What a good post, I like that when I read your entries I am forced to stop and think. It has much more of an impact on me. I sat here wondering what and who I am, and how I come across. Thanks

ShelahBooksIt said...

And we love you just like you are! I agree with the others-- awesome post.

smartmama said...

great piece-- that part of the identity is key...

Lee said...

You are perfect just the way you are. You are so close to Wonder Woman.. I too share way too much and am a loud mouth. lol.. So much of that was like, oh that is me too!! lol

emlouisa said...

Thanks for posting this. You make me think. But not about my political affiliations. haha

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