Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Scrapbooking is Happiness. It's ScrapHappiness. I'm not sure how that term formed in my little brain, but I think it actually could have been derived from a poster on a Babycenter board I used to frequent. I think she was "scraphappy" until a few people pointed out that it looked like she was "Crap Happy" and she changed her name. I assure you--I'm not CrapHappy, but ScrapHappy.

ScrapHappy and ScrapHappiness are not the same. ScrapHappy can only be described as an uncontrollable urge to scrapbook. ScrapHappiness comes when I've indulged in that urge. It's a high that only scrapbooking can give me.

I've been feeling very ScrapHappy lately. I've been running low on supplies, so I ventured to the local scrapbook store. OH the scrapbook store! It's the ulitimate drug. As I near the door and see the racks of papers and embellishments my heart races. As I enter, my heart skips a beat and a little excitment shiver goes up my spine. I could spend hours in there just browsing and trying to decide what to buy. I knew I needed this trip to be small to be friendly to the bank account balance, so I took Fat Girl with me. She's very good at telling me when it's time to get out of there while we still have money left to pay the bills. Fifteen minutes of scrapbook store bliss and $21.60 later, I had my loot. Yes-a little paper and some ribbon costs that much. I never said being ScrapHappy was cheap.

The ScrapHappy feeling is no greater than the moment I come home from the scrapbook store. I want to scrap and I want to do it now! That never works out, so it's like an itch I can't scratch for awhile.

Yesterday, I was finally able to do a little scrapbooking and AAAHHHH (angels start singing Hallelujah here)---ScrapHappiness! It does exist!

Little Boy was feeling a little ScrapHappy (or he just wanted to spend a little time with me and there was no keeping me from my scrapbooking supplies) and asked if he could do a page of his own. I handed him a peice of 12x12, a few pictures I wasn't planning to use, some scraps and a glue stick. He went to town and experienced ScrapHappiness for himself. I couldn't be more proud.

A little while later when I was on the phone and he used my paper cutter to destroy one of my new papers and a picture I was about to us? Not so proud.

Not bad for a three year old, eh?

Monday, February 27, 2006

seeing double

I had a dream.

Saturday night I dreamt that my sister-in-law (SIL) was pregnant with twin boys. She named them Jonathan and Bastian. I questioned her on the name "Bastian" because I thought it was kind of odd and because she prefers very tradtional names for her boys. She assured me that it had special meaning to her.

I didn't find it odd at all to dream about my SIL being pregnant. She really is pregnant right now with her third boy. I've had a few dreams about her pregnanies before. I thought it was entertaining mostly and made a mental note to email her sometime this week and tell her about my little dream. SIL emailed me first.

She had a dream.

Saturday night SIL dreamt that I was pregnant with twin girls. I named them Chelsea and Hilary (as in Clinton). She questioned me on the names because it's not secret that I'm no fan of Hilary Clinton. I assured her that I didn't like it either, but the Assistant Gardener had turned liberal and wanted to name our daughters after the Clintons.

We essentially had the same dream about each other on the same night. I'm finding it odd. Freakish even.

What does it all mean!?

Our conclusion: Somebody in the family is going to have twins. She says it's not her. I say it's not me. So, that leaves BIL and his wife (the newlyweds). Tag--You're It!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

how the garden began...

Five years, 10 months ago, I was at my parents house in Florida on a short break from my studies at Brigham Young University . It was my 20th birthday and I was winding down from a wild night of partying (okay it wasn't wild- it was dinner out with my mom and my sister). I sat down at the computer to check my email before bed. Across the country Steve was enjoying the novelty of AOL by doing a profile search for Florida & BYU. I'm not sure what he was looking for or hoping to find, but he found me. We IMed for a few minutes with that sweet romantic "bliiing!" sound when a new IM would come in. It was merely small talk. He asked me about my job and I explained I was looking for a new one. He told me about the company where he worked and told me I should apply when I returned to Provo. He was sure to point out that I should tell them who had referred me and told me that his sister worked as the receptionist for the company. What he failed to point out was that he got a referral bonus if I was hired. He certainly had interesting ways of getting a bonus.

I returned to Provo and applied. His sister called him and told him and the following Saturday when he saw me online, I heard "Bliiing!" It was Him! We decided that we should meet that evening. Were we crazy!? He could have been an axe murderer! I was a nanny at the time and invited him to the house I was working (Yes, I was brilliant---not only put myself in danger, but three small defenseless children in danger as well.) He showed up and I invited him in. We talked for a few minutes and all of a sudden, I noticed that I had my hand on his leg! Whoa Sister---Slow Down! It didn't feel wierd, though. About ten minutes later he kissed me. I slapped him and made him leave. I mean, the nerve of this guy thinking that I would just let some stranger kiss me! I'm not that kind of girl. Alright. I am that kind of girl. I kissed him back and enjoyed every spine tingling, heart thumping moment of it. That evening turned into hours of smooching and talking in a parking lot up the canyon. He dropped me off at my apartment later and asked when he could see me again. He practically had to hold me up to keep me from melting into a puddle at his feet while I answered "as soon as possible!" Of course, I beat myself up for that one for the next 8 hours until he called me. So much for playing hard to get.

We were inseparable after that. Three days later, I opened my big mouth and said "I love you" totally confident he'd say it back. Pretty presumptuous of me, don't you think? Luckily, I was right. Less than a week after meeting for the fisrt time, we went on an impromtu road trip to Las Vegas. Yes, I went to Vegas with a stranger. I will lock my daughter in her room until she's married, I tell you that much. We gazed lovingly into each other's eyes and at engagement rings. Just a few weeks after we met, I accompanied him to California for his sister's wedding. I guess he thought I was a keeper introducing me to the family so soon! There was some sillyness on his part about having to meet my family before he proposed though, so that didn't happen until a little over a month later. Pshaw. I guess he was the only one using his brain.

He proposed to me on the beach in Cocoa Beach, Florida just as the sun was rising above the water early in the morning. It was beautiful and I said YES!

Exactly ten months after our initial IM moment, we tied the eternal knot. We married in Orlando, Florida at the LDS Orlando Temple. That was five years ago and we are still inseparable. The love we felt for each other five years ago pales in comparison to what we have now. He is my soul mate and my life is better and more beautiful because he is in it.

Happy Annivesary, baby. This is just the beginning!

P.S. He got the bonus.

P.P.S. He took me out to dinner with it. Ya, I'm that good.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

give me a break

My mommy is in town taking care of me, so I'll be scarce. See ya in a week!

Friday, February 10, 2006


I've found the secret to surviving stay-at-home-motherhood: MOFs. It's not a drug that gives you extra energy. It's not a machine to give you extra time in the day. It's not a robotical babysitter. MOFs are "My Online Friends." MOF Emily's husband created this acronym to make it easier to communicate with his wife. It has since evolved into The Cosa MOFstra. You can read the entire story behind it here. You can even see a picture of me and some of MOFs at a recent GNO (another internet acronym-Girl's Night Out) held at my house.

Lest you think I am weird or worse, desperate, let me explain. I have many real-life friends (never mind you that many of them were MOFs first). I have a very fun and satisfying social life. But, staying at home with two kids all day can get a little monotonous and lonely sometimes. Take naptime for instance: Moms without MOFs might mop their kitchen. Me? I make myself comfy in front of my computer and get down to business. I can get advice, I can give advice, and I can participate in the fun lives of those thousands of miles away. Who is pregnant (Most recently it was Amy due to a failed Vasectomy)? Which brand of vacuum cleaner is really the best (most of MOFs say Dyson)? What's for dinner (I've gotten some of my best recipes from MOFs!)? It's adult conversation to make me feel like I'm using my mind for more than diapering, cooking, and cleaning. It's a place where I can talk about my kids and their little issues and find out that there are many other kids doing the exact same things. Often times, it's just being a sounding board and offering comfort.

What about cleaning, cooking, and child-rearing? Oh, that stuff happens too. It's just a lot more fun with MOFs to share it all with.

adventures of little boy

Little Boy can build. Lincoln Logs are the toy at our house. He builds houses, garages, fences, barns, and even has figured out how to attach his monster trucks end to end using the logs and makes a train.

Little Boy can imagine. We don't have a couch--We have a monster truck. We don't have a love seat--We have an airplane.

Little Boy can make me laugh. Yesterday, he told me: "I'm going to drive a monster truck when I'm in High School." Today he told his best friend, SF, "My dad's at work. He makes money."

Little Boy is sweet, silly, strong, independent, loving, and bright.

If I had one wish then it would be--That you could have a Little Boy just like me.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

oh mandy

Mornin', just another day
Happy people pass my way
Lookin' in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without takin'
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shakin'
And I need you today, oh Mandy

Yes, it's Barry Manilow today. I get this song. I get it right down to the name: Mandy. She isn't a lost love, I didn't send her away, and she didn't really kiss me, but I still get it. Mandy is my best friend.

Mandy and I met our Freshman year of college when we were assigned dorm rooms next to each other (we would have been neighbors, but the bathroom was in between. Stupid bathroom.) We clicked immediately even though she thought I was a bit of a dork since as I unpacked my belongings I had my high school choir CD jammin' on my stereo. But, she overlooked the wierdness of it all and we became fast friends.

It's been eight years since we met and our hearts are still close, but physically we are far apart. We live on opposite sides of the country and I miss her. We are both married with babies and we have our own lives to keep up with. But, we never lose sight of each other and the special friendship we share.

Mandy is the kind of friend everyone should have. We can talk about anything or nothing at all and it's still fun. We know everything about each other---the good, the bad, and the ugly---and we still love each other. I can hug Mandy and it never feels wierd or forced. We're like school girls at a slumber part when we giggle about everything, play with each other's hair, and act all kinds of silly. Sometimes we go a length of time without talking and when we do talk again it's like we never left off. We say the same thing at the same time and we finish each other's sentences. There is some kind of connection between Mandy and I that I don't think either one of us fully understands or can explain. We just know it's there, it's real, and it's amazing.

It's only Mandy who will sing the Golden Girl's theme song with me...Thank you for being a friend! That's how I know we're meant to be.

Monday, February 06, 2006

more about me

Shelah invited me to join this chain letter of the blogging world. Lest I be smitten with plagues and certain tragic death, I'm joining.

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) ScienceWoman
2) Professor Me
3) Musical Mom
4) SheBooksIt
5) The Constant Gardener

Next select five people to tag:
1) Emlouisa
2) Taffi
3) Linsey
4) Steph
5) Misty

What were you doing 10 years ago? I was 15 and a Sophomore in High School. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and getting into trouble. Luckily, my parents caught me and whisked me out of that situation in a hurry and I turned around!

What were you doing 1 year ago? We were happily settled in our rental home thinking "gosh it's nice that we've lived in the same house for almost a year." Give it a few months and the moving began once more. I was just discovering cranky Fat Girl's dairy allergy and going on an elimination diet to help her.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Soft chocolate chip cookies and milk
2. potato rosemary bread w/ olive oil & balsamic vinegar
3. Peanut Butter Cup & Reese's Pieces Blizzard
4. Strawberry Milk
5. Cadbury creme eggs (is it Easter yet?)

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Nothing Compares to You (Sinead O'Connor)
2. The Backyardigans Theme Song
3. Wings Beneath my Wings (Bette Midler)
4. The Star Spangled Banner
5. God Bless America

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy my mom a new house with an enormous kitchen
2. Have a few more kids and Hire a nanny (these must go hand in hand)
3. Hire a personal chef
4. Build my dream home
5. Buy The Assistant Gardener (the hubby) a fully restored '49 Split Oval Window VW Beetle in black

Five bad habits:
1. Overusing exclamation points! (!!!)
2. Imagining the worst
3. Picking at my nails
4. Calling my dh to whine
5. Talking too much

Five things you like doing:
1. Scrapbooking
2. Reading
3. GNO (girl's night out)
4. Learning all I can about carseats
5. Being a wife and mom

Five things you would never wear again:
1. a Size 16
2. Skorts
3. a side ponytail
4. slap bracelets
5. pleated pants

Five favorite toys:
1. computer
2. punches
3. digital camera
4. kids
5. phone

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

my montage

I created a montage of my little spuds...thanks for the inspiration Rachelle!

Our Wonderful World

choose an identity

Who are you?

Choose to comment on my blog and you'll get to "choose an identity." If only it were that easy. Who do I want to be today? Do I want to be wonder woman like my good friend Lee? A super scrapper like Alissa? A voracious reader and witty writer like Shelah? A great story teller like Emily? Just because I want those things in my identity doesn't make it happen. I don't choose all of my identity. My identity has chosen me.

We move. A lot. I look forward to the chance to have a new group of people to get to know. It's a new start. I have this grand idea of who I am and am not going to be. I'm going to be witty! I'm going to be funny! I'm going to be confident! I'm going to be interesting! I'm not going to be a loud mouth! I'm not going to bare my entire life to everyone! It never works. That's not my identity. I'm not that funny, I'm not that witty, and I'm really not that interesting. I am a loud mouth and with that loud mouth I tend to be an open book and give way too much information. I do make friends easily, but I'm not very confident in those friendships because who knows what they are thinking? Maybe they just pretend to like me out of pure pity. See, no confidence.

Some parts of my identity just happened to me. I have Lupus. I didn't choose to have Lupus. I was determined not to let it be a part of my identity. It is. Hello, I'm Alicia and I have Lupus. I'm tired a lot, I hurt a lot, my brain is a bit foggy, and my cocktail of medications makes me moody and impatient (well, more so). I'm so many more things than a sick Lupus patient. It's part of my identity, but it's not who I am.

I am a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Child, Woman, Sister, and Friend. I love my God and my family and will fight for and defend them. I am of daughter of God and of great worth. That is my identity and I choose that.