background

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

wouldn't it be nice?

Wouldn't it be nice if life were easy? Wouldn't it be nice if choices were easy to make? Wouldn't it be nice if every choice we made had no negative consequences? Wouldn't it be nice?

Life isn't easy, choices aren't easy to make, and every choice has it's pros and cons.

I wrote a post on May 1st all about making choices. There was a story behind the post, but one I couldn't share yet. The way I described feeling in that post is the way I have felt all summer long as we have had to make choices regarding employment and where we live. Steve was approached twice by others in his company about considering a new position within the company. The pay would be good, but we'd have to move to Arkansas. Thanks, but no thanks he told them. The third time he was approached it was by a Vice President in the company. Saying No to him didn't seem like a good thing to do, so he said he'd consider it. I was thinking about it and suddenly felt like God was saying to me "I'm trying to give you something here, but I can't force you to accept it. What more do you want me to do?" Sobbing like a baby, I told Steve we should consider it seriously. This is the right thing to do I told him. We made a trip to Arkansas, found a beautiful house, and sat back to wait for the offer. It didn't come and didn't come and didn't come. Finally, Steve's boss approached him and said that it hadn't come through because he asked them to hold it. He had another position he wanted Steve to consider. This position is the one Steve has been working towards and the one that he really wants. We put Arkansas aside and headed to Arizona. While Arizona is a great place and has it's own kind of beauty, we definitely weren't in Boise anymore, Toto.

We have only lived in Boise for 2 1/2 years, but it feels like home. Neither of us have family here and we are both far from our first homes, but we love it. We had hoped to spend a very long time here. The friends we have both made here and reconnected with here mean so much to us and I'm scared that I'll lose them. Just the idea of us moving I feel has pushed a couple of them away. I don't blame them---Why spend a lot of effort cultivating a friendship with someone who will be leaving soon? But it still hurts and I miss them. Maybe I've done some pushing away too. Maybe it won't hurt so much to leave if we aren't that close anyway.

Sometime after the New Year, we will be packing up our family and head South to in the desert among the cactus, scorpions, and rock landscaping. But for now, I'm not going thinking about it. It's not happening. Maybe in January I'll think about it again. Maybe. If I have to. But I don't to. Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to?

15 comments:

Lei said...

Aw, sorry this has been so hard on you! I wish you guys the best of luck with it all!

Nicole said...

The moving decision is such a hard one, but you never know Arizona might just be really wonderful. Good luck.

Valarie said...

That's so exciting and scary at the same time! It does sound like everything is working out the best way it could. It's like the Arkansas job was just to get you okay with the idea of moving so that the right one came along there wouldn't be any question about it.

Good luck!

Lee said...

It is hard to move. And it is hard when your friends distance themselves when they find out you are moving. I have had that happen and it is sad.
I am so excited for your future and all the fun you are going to have! I just wish it was closer to me!!

Char said...

Exciting and scary! At least you get Jane.

:o)

sheri said...

Such a huge decision!!! I'm in tears right now because I know how sad it will be. My best friend moved to AZ 2 years ago. It was so hard! Luckily, we're the kind of close friends that will ALWAYS feel that special bond, even if it's been months since we talked to each other. (and sometimes it is since she has 5 kids) But my heart goes out to you and also to all your close friends. Being the one "left behind", I know how hard it can be. Two years later and I STILL burst into tears when I drive by their house. Imagine my sinking heart when a new family moved in 2 doors down from their old house and I was assigned as her vt. I'm excited for the new adventure you and your family are going to have. And so far, most of my friends that have moved to AZ love it there. But also know that I'm definitely here for you AND your friends. I've been there. HUGS!

Jami said...

You will learn to love Arizona. You'll get to look forward to coming back and visiting all the Boise gals and friends. I felt the exact same way when we left Arizona to come to Boise.

And I'm with you, I'm not thinking about it until I have to. I'm really going to miss you.

abc momma said...

I'm in tears because you made me think about you leaving. I've never felt so rich in friends before, and it's all because of you.

The linguistically Impaired Mormon Mom said...

It will be hard, but I bet it will also be worth it.

Katy said...

I'm pretending we'll just meet up again in a different state. Not Arizona, though!:) It'll just be a "see ya later".

And I'm with you - I won't think about it until after Christmas.

EmLouisa said...

I am not thinking about it either. I spent the entire summer sad and crying over it. I bawled for an hour the night you left for AZ to go house hunting. You've got to do what feels right though.

We have until January. I'm not thinking about it until after Christmas either.

I love you!

Nettie said...

Moving is so stressful. I never want to do it again. But, looking back, our many moves have really forced me to grow. Still, I don't want to do it again!

My heart feels for you. {{HUGS}}

Alissa said...

Somehow I'm hoping the monetary offer to move to AZ is significantly more than the one to move to Arkansas. You know, cost of living and whatnot. (I can't help but think about the money!)

I'm sure that this move will be for your families betterment. **Don't you hate it when people say that kinda crap!?** (((HUGS)))

Sabra said...

Good luck with everything. Big changes can mean big blessings, too. And I know a lot of cool people live in AZ

Mama Darlin' said...

We will try to take good care of you!